


Right here , Right now

by RickardoTheAvacardo



Series: A copper and his cat [8]
Category: Lewis (TV)
Genre: Case Fic, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-26
Updated: 2015-05-26
Packaged: 2018-04-01 00:00:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,349
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3998173
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RickardoTheAvacardo/pseuds/RickardoTheAvacardo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Emily learns what comfort really is.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Right here , Right now

**Author's Note:**

> Beta read by MissionImpossible

Emily knew something was very wrong the moment James walked through the front door. He wasn’t his usual calm self. He looked as if he had been dragged through a bush repeatedly. Emily could smell the strong almost overpowering odor of cigarettes on James. When he spoke his voice was barely a whisper, even if you could faintly hear his voice it seemed to get higher every time he forced out his words.

It wasn’t just his voice that was different, James looked different. There were huge black bags under his eyes and Emily wasn’t that surprised as for the last 4 nights he had been sitting on his sofa with a glass of wine in his hand with millions of papers on his coffee table desperately trying to look through them and trying to work something out, but despite his effort Emily could guess that he had got nowhere.

Emily had also noticed that the state of James’s flat was getting worse each day , there was a pile of dirty plates and wine stained glasses that looked as if it was about to rush into the sink at any moment. The flat itself was dusty and reeking with the smell that was a mix of stale cigarettes and rotting food that overfilled the rubbish bin. It was as if someone had replaced the real James with a zombie look alike.

This particular case had been eating at James for the past week and Emily could tell that James was at his wits end. He was frantically going through papers which could be some evidence or a little clue to solve the case but by the look of James‘s face it told Emily that all was not going well. To add to that James violently exclaimed “for god sake!” as well as hurling the papers causing them to go flying everywhere. James just sat on his sofa rocking himself backwards and forwards and put his hands over his face so Emily couldn’t tell what his face expression was like. 

It was that moment that Emily suddenly wished that Robbie was there to sort everything out. Emily sometimes thought that Robbie was magical as if he waved a magic wand and everything was okay and that James was happy again. But now Emily was starting to doubt that it was even remotely true. Here Emily was, watching her friend suffer and at the verge of losing control all she could hope was that someone would help soon, for James’s sake.

Suddenly there was a rough knock on the door. For a second Emily wandered if she had just misheard the noise. But then a second knock on the door and a firm call of “James” Emily realized that help was on the way and when James didn’t respond Emily gave out a loud meow hoping the Robbie had heard it, and to her credit it was clear that Robbie had heard her. “James open the door lad” came another shout but a bit louder. Emily walked towards the front door hoping that Robbie was still there and as she was scratching the door hoping it would open itself the door handle went and the door opened and Emily rushed towards Robbie and rubbing herself on his legs as if she was saying "thank god you’re here, please help" her emerald green eyes practically pleaded.

As Robbie walked into the living room his facial expression was the picture of horrified, staring at the mess of James’s flat. “Bloody hell James “Robbie shouted as his eyes examined the mess that looked as if it was going to invade the whole flat. James looked up at Robbie and blinked.

Hello sir, may I ask how you got in?” James asked in a flat voice.

“ I did try knocking twice and when I couldn’t get an answer from you then I tried to open the door and thanks to you being a daft bugger and forgetting to lock the door I came in “ . Robbie replied in a light tone.

“Oh” James said his voice still with no expression.

“Oh indeed “. There was an awkward silence, “What are you doing working yourself in to a frenzy when I pacifically told you to go home and rest?” 

“I... um ...I “was James’s attempt at explaining himself but he found that he couldn’t find the right words to finish his sentence. 

Robbie studied his college’s facial expressions and Robbie recognized that look, it was the same look from when he had to rescue James from the burning building.

Robbie went over to the pile of mouldy rubbish in the overfilled bin , he took the bin bag stuffed all the rubbish as far down as he could , tied up the bin big in a knot then went outside to the front of Hathaway’s house and chucked the bag into the black bin. When Robbie returned he found a plug socket and plugged in a plug in air freshener to cover up the vile odour that the rubbish had left behind. 

At this point James had turned around to look at Robbie with unfocused eyes which held the emotion of pain and sorrow. Robbie sat back down on the sofa beside James and Emily had walked carefully up to both of the men and made a little meowing noise waiting for what was going to happen between the two men.

Robbie sighed and said “look lad please tell me what is bothering you I want to help you but I can’t unless you explain it to me” Robbie said in his soft voice.

James leaned his head back and his eyes darted around the room as if he was trying to make out where he was. 

“James?” Robbie asked his voice concerned.

“Sir?” James questioned, which told Robbie that James had not heard a single word that he had just said a minute ago.

“James please tell me so that I can help you get through this” Robbie was practically pleading.

This time it was noticeable that James had absorbed what Robbie had said to him. James took a deep breath then his words just tumbled out. “Well it all started off with a call to a murder scene which involved having to look at a mangled body of a ten year old girl and then all this evidence turned up which had got me focused on getting the killer , then it turns out the killer is a man called Zelinsky who is a brutal killer!”. James’s voice broke a little bit but as Robbie was about to speak James raised his hand to stop Robbie and carried on.

“Then the image of that little girl’s body was appearing in my dreams which was disturbing enough, but when you’ve just finished on one case another is thrown at you and you have to stamp down the raw emotions of the last case to do a decent job on the next case!” James was now on the verge of losing control of his voice, his eyes were filled with unshed tears which were being forced to stay in.

Robbie looked at his friend who was about to fall apart right in front of him and he couldn’t bare the thought of James having to carry the burden on his own as Robbie felt that he had done that enough with several other cases. Robbie put his hand on James’s shoulder and squeezed it gently to get James to look at him. When James finally responded, the tears still forced to stay in and his eyes were focused on Robbie’s.

“James lad why didn’t you just tell me how you were feeling instead of working yourself into an emotional state?” Robbie said his voice full of worry and concern.

James continued to stare at Robbie before speaking “I ... I guess I just haven’t really had anyone to help me deal with distressing cases before , I’m just so used to having to deal with things like that by myself” James said in a calmer voice.

You have me! Robbie thought to himself but it didn’t work that way as it had just slipped out of his mouth.

James looked up at Robbie startled as he had not expected Robbie to just blurt out something like that especially at a serious moment like this. 

Robbie sighed and said “Listen James I’m only going to say this once and I do hope it will get through to you “ There was an awkward silence before Robbie carried on. “ James you don’t have to go through the horrible times alone anymore, you have me and I will always be on your side no matter what happens to you or me lad, I can tell that people have let you down in the past but I want to make it clear to you that you don’t need to feel isolated in your emotions”. 

James hadn’t moved or made a sound throughout Robbie’s little speech. But he was now shaking violently despite trying to keep himself calm. Then James mumbled something that Robbie couldn’t understand a word of. “James?” Robbie asked keeping his tone light.

James coughed then let all the words out “It’s not that I don’t want to share my feelings it’s just... I don’t know how, as you said yourself I haven’t had the best role models to share my complex feelings with”. 

Robbie could tell that there was more to come but finding the right words was proving a challenge for James. As Robbie was about to break the silence James butted in.

“It’s not just the dreams that disturb me sir” James said in a low voice. Robbie thought of the little sentence as a confession more than a speech.

“What is it you’re trying to tell me lad?” Robbie asked

James coughed again before continuing, “Demons sir” James said his voice was barely a whisper.

“Demons? Robbie asked gently.

“Yes you heard correctly sir demons “There was another pause. “ I don’t know how to explain it I’m... sorry sir” James stammered.

“Just try for me James “Robbie said keeping his voice light so that James could explain it as best as he could.

“Demons ... there are these little demons in my head that seem to haunt me wherever I go, but the thing is that they don’t just lurk in the back of my head they... whisper things to me , spiteful things that lead me to question certain things that have happened in my life” 

“Like what lad please tell me so I can help you” Robbie said his voice still so light and gentle.

“They remind me of things I did in the past, things that I would rather forget about “James rubbed his eyes before carrying on. “They remind me of the most horrible memory’s that I wish that never happened like the extended shouting conversation we had that time”.

Robbie winced at the memory.

“These demons told me that I was more trouble than I was worth, they also asked me how you had managed to put up with me for that long” James paused. “But the most hurtful thing the demon said to me that time was that if the people at the garden suffered for wills death then so shouldn’t you? You were one of them Hathaway!” The demon practically roared at me and I believed what the demon had said was true, and the same could be said for the Zelinsky case.” James took a deep breath. “The demon spoke with me again not long ago and it... it said that if I had been quicker I may have been able to save that little girl from having her life cut short , that I could have done more, better! But the demons last words were that I had failed that little girl and her family!” 

As James had finished explaining himself the tears had escaped from his eyes and rolling down his cheeks as well as sobbing quietly and Robbie grabbed James gently and hugged him letting him cry. 

After James had calmed down a bit Robbie took his hand and squeezed it gently as he spoke. “Oh god James I didn’t know or even imagine that it was so complex” James suddenly looked up at him startled and scared that he was going to be rejected. But Robbie then said “But that doesn’t mean that I’m going to think any differently about you, I still think that you’re an excellent copper and brilliant guitar player and a bloody fantastic mate”. James was about to interrupt but Robbie got there first. “I want to help you lad, I want to help keep the demons at bay if you will let me”.

James nodded and whispered a “Thank you sir” in his ear.

“None of that “Robbie said firmly “there’s nothing to thank me for you have helped me cope with things now it’s my time to help you cope”. 

James gave a small smile and Emily appeared out of nowhere as neither of the two men had noticed her that much , Emily jumped up on to James’s lap and rubbed her face on his that wiped away the tears drying on James’s cheek.

Robbie glanced at his watch and saw that it was 11:30pm. “Right I think it’s time for you to get some rest lad” Robbie said kindly and Emily agreed by giving a small meow. 

When they had all got to James’s bedroom James got into bed and slid under the covers with a small smile on his lips, while Emily claimed her side of the bed.

“Goodnight James “Robbie said softly as he turned off the light

“Night Robbie” was James’s exhausted reply.

_______________________________________________________________________

The next morning James saw that the pile of dirty washing up had vanished and mysteriously been put in the right cupboards and that the flat had been cleaned from top to bottom. 

Emily had perched herself beside James on the sofa and James made a reminder in his head that he owes Robbie a drink or two.


End file.
